It's really hard to believe that we're on the halfway mark of 2014, no?
A lot's happened since I bumbled (quite optimistically) about the beginnings of 2013:
- I finally, FINALLY got my final year project done! (and it got featured in the school website and youtube yayyyy! *throws mental confetti*)
(And I'll probably be posting up the stuff that I did and the actual film itself soon so look forward to that!)
- Went on a 5-day long vacation with friends to Bangkok and came back just in time for the bombing and earthquake.
- The Fat Fairies (an alliance my friends and I made) went to CAFKL and loved every bit of it
- Started working! (Yaynay!)
Now a thing or two about work:
(Maaaaan, now I sound like a REAL adult boo.)
I'm currently working two jobs: full-timing in a 2D animation studio and part-timing in an art centre for kids.
(I won't mention the name of my company, but if you're from where I'm from, you'd probably get an idea of where I work since it's the only 2D company that has sort of established their name here)
To be honest, even with the 'studio experience' that my previous school tried to emulate, nothing prepared me for what studio-life was going to be.
I'm quite alright with sitting down and focusing on my work in a work-conducive environment, but... I understand that people want to focus on their work and such but in pin-drop silence?
I was so used to walking everywhere and chatting up my friends that this situation was very new to me, I was taken aback quite honestly.
(I was even afraid to go pee too often 'cause I was afraid I'd be distracting being the only one walking up and down so much...)
This probably triggered the slow snowball of culture-shock that ended with me having a mental breakdown towards the end of my first month there (amongst other things).
Besides the strict-new-working-environment, making-new-friends and stressful-deadlines that I had to get used to, I had a nagging feeling that this might not have been the company for me,
despite having a strong preference for the 2D animation world and I knew that this would be the best way to learn the ropes of it since I came out with a diploma in 3D animation.
Before getting in, I heard a lot of bad rumours going around from friends and lecturers alike coming out of that studio.
My fears were confirmed the moment I stepped in.
To add to that, I was also actually offered to try out for a job in one of the so-called 'prestigious-companies-to-go-to-after-TOA', something I really did not expect because my skill-level in animation, simply put,
is not up to par as what they churn out for their projects.
I went for the interview, struggled through the test for a month, and finally, after being put between a rock and a hard place with limited time,
(that was to choose between a job that was not guaranteed and a job that I had already gotten with work that I'd probably love to do)
I had to back down from the offer.
Maybe it was the guilt from people (especially since I had a lot friends and acquaintances there) asking why didn't I join such a good company when I had the chance, especially when it's so hard to get in.
Maybe it was my perception of how 'the grass is always greener on the other side' because of all the wonderful things I've heard about how working with them is such 'freedom' and gives them a lot of room to grow.
I was getting tired, stretched-out, emotionally and physically.
I hate to be vocal about my personal problems,
So I slowly suffocated and fell deeper and deeper into my guilt until I finally couldn't take it anymore.
I'm really glad I had friends and family who stuck out their ears to me to listen to all my nonsense and had the decency to knock some sense into me.
(For that I have to thank them.)
From them they made me realize a lot of things:
1) That this is only my first job, it's not the end of the world.
2) That's also really just studio life for you.
3) At least I HAVE a job.
4) At least I'm being PAID.
5) If it's really so bad that I feel like the world really is going to end, I can always quit and start praying.
6) Move on to the next job if it's really so bad.
7) That I'm probably overthinking everything and should just chill.
It's not to say that I hate the work I do, in fact I quite love it.
And it's not like the people are horrible (well inevitably, some are) but the ones I've met so far are especially nice, wonderful and talented people I just... I can't believe that they're such good people.
I truly respect that and I'm eternally grateful that my floor is super awesomely nice too.
I guess, the bottom line of what I'm trying to say is that well...
You gotta start somewhere, right?
(And that maybe... I was guilty of worrying and fretting too much. Sorry lo, perfectionist problems
Studios will be studios, they'll have shitty deadlines sometimes with shitty policies with shitty clients here and there...
But that's just how it goes, no?
I only have a year here anyway so...
To a year of yoga and learning and improving...
P.S. Now a note on my mental breakdown:
This was probably only applicable to me at the time because my own personal demons that clashed with the situation at that point, but I thought I'd share if some of you might be curious about choosing the right first job for yourself after school and that sort of stuff.
P.P.S. Sorry for the long twisting life-long story, but I hope it helps someone... Somewhere I guess